Me: Why do you think you never made it big?
Him: Music is a hard industry to succeed in. Especially in Nashville.
Me: Do you think you were afraid of success?
Him: Is that a thing?
Me: Sure. Lots of people are but I think many don’t know it.
Him: Why are people afraid? Isn’t success what they want?
Me: Sometimes their emotions are working below the surface and keep them stuck in the familiar, safe zone.
Him: How do I know?
Me: Think about what you’d be giving up if you made it big.
Him: Okay. (pause) Are you afraid of success?
Me: I have been, but I’m getting over it.
Him: What are you afraid of giving up?
Him: In what way?
Me: The freedom to create, to have the time to create. It’s the same with relationships for me. I worry that if I’m living with someone I love I won’t have the time to myself that I need to think, write, alchemize and just go with my creative flow.
Him: But lots of married people are successful.
Me: Of course. That’s how I know my fear is just that, and not a reality.
Him: Why do you think you have that fear?
Me: My mom basically gave up being an artist to be a wife and mother. I never saw that you could have both a successful creative career and a husband and family.
Him: That sucks.
Me: Not at all. I know the issue so I just keep telling myself that I can have both, that I don’t need to choose one over the other. I have freedom now but if I was successful I’d have even more – money, choices… That’s where the ability to know what I want and say “no” to what I don’t want is crucial. If I start doing things that don’t fulfill me, then I lose my freedom. So. What are you afraid of giving up?