(Dive Into the) River of Love

Wouldn’t it be powerful if you fell in love with yourself so deeply that you would do just about anything if you knew it would make you happy? This is precisely how much life loves you and wants you to nurture yourself. The deeper you love yourself, the more the universe will affirm your worth. Then you can enjoy a lifelong love affair that brings you the richest fulfillment from inside out.
– Alan Cohen

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Doesn’t it feel good to know that you alone are in control of how lovable you are? And when you feel super lovable, guess what you’ll attract? That’s right… people who love you!

Ready to master your self-love mojo? Download “7 Days to Satisfaction: Design Your Sacred Sensual Lifestyle” – it’s a fun (& free) mini-course that will give you the keys to discovering your authentic self and how you can live a life that feels satisfying and love-infused. It’s about self-love and so much more.

You’re made of love and deserve to feel that fully.
Take a dive into the river of self-love!

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Feeling Blue? Soothe Your Senses

Heartache enriches you as much as victory.

Some consolation, right? You feel crappy. Screw the enrichment. It’s time to wallow, dammit.

There’s no shame in that. Wallow big, wallow deep. Make it the best wallow you’ve ever had.

Eventually, something inside of you will yearn to feel good again. That’s your natural state of being – your spirit always hangs out in that high-vibe state – and you’ll seek to rise up to it, over and over.

Here’s the bad news: You can’t go right from feeling devastated to feeling happy.

Here’s the good news: Yes you can.

Just not all in one swoop. The chasm is too wide. You can’t see the other side and your legs are too weak to a big leap anyway.

Here’s the key: think in increments. Look for one small, easy thing you can do that feels good.

Look for what soothes and pleases your senses: Pet your dog or cat. Slide into a favorite sweater. Light some lavender incense. Give up your seat on the train to an elder and notice that it feels good to stretch your legs.

These may seem like excruciatingly small steps, especially when chaos seems to be swirling around, but one self-nourishing act will lead to the next.

The morning after the election, the only thing I could do was sip my warm cup of coffee. It was a simple pleasure I had control over when it seemed like the world had turned upside down. It helped me feel just better enough to go to the myofascial release class I’ve been taking. Doing something good for my body lifted spirits. After that I had enough momentum to make a healthy, satisfying soup for lunch.

Feeling bereft was being replaced by feeling fortified. I was slowly but steadily starting to rise back up to my natural state of wellbeing.

Next time you’re feeling blue, don’t try to power through it. Instead, take a warm bath with rose or vanilla essential oil. Find a water sounds station on Pandora and take a nap swaddled in soft blankets. Go for a walk and stop for a hot chocolate. Savor it.

Don’t worry about whether you’re being self-indulgent. You are. And that’s fine. Taking whatever steps you need to feel better isn’t weak, it’s empowering.

In fact, the more consciously you care for yourself, the quicker you will ascend back to your natural state of feeling centered and whole. You might even feel even better than before.

What’s one simple, nourishing thing you can do to feel a little bit better than you do right now?

Do it. Then do another.

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Focus on Your Pleasure Points… 3 Steps to Maintaining Good Mood Momentum

sunset-circle-topI love my mornings – they’re peaceful and sacred to me. That is, until the dual leaf blowers start. As I’m pouring my first cup of coffee, on cue the maintenance crew of a nearby grocery store fires up not one but two blowers that are so loud they could be in my living room. This aggressive noise is one of my pain points (especially in summer when there were about two leaves but they kept at it for the requisite 15 minutes).

When I worked for an interior designer I noticed that much of her job was to remove minor but daily irritations. She’d replaced banging trash cans and toe-stubbing ledges and viola… a happier homeowner.

It’s not so easy though when a pain point is coming from a source you have no control over. A car alarm during your precious meditation time or a co-worker who stops by to chat when you’re in a state of creative flow – certainly your familiar with these sharp pokes.

Annoying? Yes. But they also can take you from feeling light and cheery straight into a dark scowl, or worse, the dreaded downward spiral.

Those leaf blowers are SO loud! They’re really annoying me. My peaceful morning is now shattered. I woke up in a great mood and now I’m cranky and it’s only 7:45 am. I should be better at maintaining my cool. No, it’s not my fault. It’s their stupid fault. They’re ruining this neighborhood. I should move. Oh yeah, I can’t afford to move right now. I’m a loser for not being further along and able to afford a lovely home where I have more control over my environment. I’m stuck. This sucks.

 

Wave goodbye to the sunny mood momentum. And with it, there goes your intuitive guidance and sense of flow.

So what can you do instead?

After a number of irritable mornings, I tried a new response. Between sips of warm coffee and bites of sweet fruit, I opened my notebook and wrote pages about all of the pleasurable stuff in my life. Immersed in my own thoughts as they tumbled onto the page, the annoying noise seemed to disappear. I didn’t even notice when they turned off.

And that’s the key. Create a bevy of pleasure point go-to’s and grab onto one immediately when a pain point arises. Sensory experiences are a great way to counteract your irritation and replace it with what you truly deserve – peace and joy.

A car alarm flairs up during your meditation? Light some lavender incense and do a couple yoga poses till it passes. As your over-chatty co-worker appears, click into your collection of cute kitty photos or serene landscape shots and glance at them frequently as they prattle on.

These small moves can prevent the downward slide that can wreck your whole day. You might not be able to eradicate the pain point, but when you focus on your pleasure instead you keep control over your experience of it.

Here’s the 3-step way to stay in control of your good mood momentum:

1. Know your pleasure points. Make a list of easy to reach feel-good experiences. Think about what feels good to look at, listen to, taste, touch, wear and do. Gather supplies and be prepared.

2. Know your pain points. When you’re aware of what pushes your buttons you can have a conscious response instead of succumbing to a sneak attack.

3. Be ready to shift gears as soon as a pain point surfaces. Choose how to react and remember how good your pleasure points feel.

The biggest payoff may be this: What you focus on expands. The more attention you give to your pleasure points, the more satisfied and in control of life you’ll feel.

My pleasure point list is long and highly satisfying. Good thing now that it’s autumn… Bring on those falling leaves.

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Change Your Perception, Change Your Life

0213161258b~2A chunk of ice… A frozen heart… Or maybe nothing at all if you’re distracted by your dinging phone or some negative thoughts.0213161259~3~2

Maybe you notice the craftsmanship. These amazing sculptures were made by ice carver, Peter Slavin.

But do you see the beauty? What about it moves you? Maybe the textures of the ice, the curving lines or the way it glistens in the sun. Do you see the whole or the details? 0213161259~3~3

Taking the time to observe beauty and let it have it’s way with you is a surefire way to feel good. Give it a try next time you’ve got the blues or can’t seem to think straight.

Let beauty distract you.

1455395136404Beauty resets your emotional gauge back to it’s natural state of contentment. From here you’ll soften and start feeling clarity return. Inspired ideas will start to flow again.

Once you regain that contented feeling, you’ll start seeing even more lovely sights… it’s a beautiful cycle. frozen roses 1Looking at beauty in the world, is the first step of purifying the mind.  – Amit Ray

The Freedom of Becoming a Blank Slate

I was knocked out for three weeks by a bad cold, but it was one of the most transformational experiences I’ve ever had (and I’ve had many, as do we all). It felt like my body and mind were going through a sort of energetic re-alignment, or catch-up phase, to get in sync with my heart and soul. My mind went to a calm, worry-free, relaxed space – how often do we get weeks to just not think? I had no choice… my body and mind were exhausted to the point of full surrender. I became a blank slate. And that felt surprisingly freeing.

Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries.
–  Corita Kent

RRC white peak in clouds I had been too wiped out to come up with any New Year’s resolutions or write down any well-thought out plans and strategies for 2015. Rather, I just received. Some simple yet undeniably meaningful signs and symbols started showing up. I entertained them, playing with them instead of furtively capturing and filing them away for future use. Little by little over the past week I came back into full consciousness, with whispers of ideas filtering in via dreams and at random moments.

The pathway is smooth. Why do you throw rocks before you? – ancient proverb

stone arrowThen one morning I woke up and a whole vision appeared, as if I had stumbled into an oasis. It was the big picture. And it was really big. It made the creative notions I’d been twisting around over the past year or so –  mulling, collecting, planning, re-configuring – make sense. And I realized it had nothing to do with striving toward or hoping for. It was simply about making some room – mentally, physically and spiritually – for the full-blown vision to float on into my life. Because it is my life.

Too cryptic? Well, we all have those precious visions that we need to keep close and sacred for awhile when they’re fresh and clear. I’m nibbling on one bite of the big-vision pie right now – quite a big and delicious bite really – and I’ll happily share more about it as I move into it further, and as it settles into my refreshed and refurbished flesh & bones.

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads. – Anatole France

pathHave you made room for what wants to enter your life? Are you embarking on a new path? Let it be easy and joyful. Follow the clues. Embrace the mystery.

[The photos are of Red Rock Canyon near Las Vegas, 2014]

She’s Got Guts. Do You?

Do you stand in your own power and make decisions based on what you truly align with? Or do you hem & haw, justify and then acquiesce even when you know better? If it’s the second one, how does your body feel when you give away your power? (I’m not talking about power over others; rather, the power of honoring your own authenticity.) Maybe you feel a little queasy or tangled in the core, as if someone’s tickling (or wringing) your intestines from the inside. Our bodies are wise, and it’s imperative we pay attention to it’s signals (or screams) as we develop our mind-body-spirit-heart connection.

For the past few weeks I’ve been editing a book called She’s Got Guts, by holistic health coach Laura Sprinkle. Besides being witty and incredibly informative about the many crucial factors that affect our health, the book also draws a direct correlation between gut health and personal power. Laura points out that a weak 2nd and/or 3rd chakra can cause gut issues, but if we only focus on healing the physical body, we’re missing an opportunity to heal our spiritual and emotional bodies as well. (The 2nd chakra is related to creativity, money, sex; the 3rd is related to gut intuition, personal power.)

The gut area, including our stomach, is a good example of how our systems function holistically because there is a direct correlation between what we eat and how we feel. If our diet consists of nutritionally void foods such as preservative-laden packaged snacks and sugary sodas, we’re going to feel lousy, both physically and emotionally. And most likely, the reverse is even more true: we eat poorly because we don’t value or love ourselves on some level.

One beautiful thing about understanding and working with the body-mind-spirit-heart connection is that it gives you more options than just popping a pill. You can pick up on the signals your body is giving you and then listen to what your heart says about it. Then you can use your mind to figure some stuff out and employ your spiritual practices to assist you in releasing and evolving. One affects the other, so you can weave together all of the information they provide to keep getting closer to holistic healing.

Stomach ache? As yourself if you’re feeling short-changed or powerless in a situation. Journal about it and read some helpful articles. Then do some yoga poses that massage your internal organs or go for a brisk walk. Check in again… How’s the stomach? Did the pain move to somewhere else? Did some anger or jealousy get stirred up? Keep asking yourself questions and letting the answers come to you from a variety of sources. Be as kind to yourself as you would be with a sick child. Nurture yourself. Rest (without guilt).

Recently I’ve been informally counseling several friends who are in the process of making big decisions or are on the verge of major life changes. Some are relying on a strong intuition to guide them, while others are only listening to their mind (in a conventional “I should do this” way) and ignoring what their heart and body are trying to tell them. Who do you think is having stomach/intestinal trouble? The lack of will to stand up for what they truly want is in direct correlation to their gut issues and weak 2nd & 3rd chakras – all of these need to be addressed so they can strengthen each other and heal in tandem.

I learned some helpful new tips and tricks from She’s Got Guts, such as the best and worst foods to eat for gut health and the most effective forms of energy work and exercise as part of a gut-healthy lifestyle (and gut health leads to overall health). I recommend it to people who have digestive disorders (or even just some symptoms now and then) and to anyone who is interested in health and healing.

I not only listen to my gut (physically and via my intuition) but I also pamper it with nutritious food that I thoroughly enjoy eating – no need to sacrifice pleasure! (And hey, red wine and chocolate are health foods as far as I’m concerned.)

How about you? Do you listen to your gut? What’s it saying? Feed me better food, love me more, stand up for us, get a massage, you are fantastic as you are. Listen. It takes some guts, but just listen.

Here’s the scoop on Laura and the book:

Laura Sprinkle is a holistic gut health coach, creative business mentor, speaker, and author. Learn more about her services at www.laurasprinkle.com and receive a book or other goodies by contributing here: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/she-s-got-guts

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Love Note #1

It’s easy to love what we perceive as our own good qualities – bakes killer brownies for friends, loves unconditionally, always helps a seemingly lost pooch, lends an ear when needed. But what about our faults, are they lovable too?

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It’s no secret that self-love is the key to feeling peace in your soul. Just try it. Look in the mirror and say, “I love you,” to yourself. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but it gets easier the more you do it. Wink at yourself, flirt a little. Let it feel fun, pure and warm.

Some days doing this exercise is harder than others. You made a bad decision. Your words hurt someone you care about. What the hell is your life about anyway and why haven’t you figured it out by now? In these moments where fear and doubt have gripped you, are you still lovable? Do you still deserve your own love?

These are precisely the times when it’s imperative to love yourself. Berating yourself and withdrawing your compassion toward yourself will create a downward spiral into desperation and confusion. More bad decisions will be made. Guilt heaped on. Flame doused.

Love your mistakes as much as your triumphs because the goof-ups help you to grow. They point directly to where your attention needs to be – not as a reprimand, but as a guiding light. Love the part of you that doesn’t know how to do it better yet, because that part of you needs it the most. Like fertilizer on a droopy plant.

Then take it one step farther and love your pain. Love the hardships and the whole mess of life. Not because you want them to continue, but because you want them to transform. Love nurtures positive change. Acceptance yields a sense of compassion. When we feel safe to admit our mistakes or look honestly at what isn’t working, we can begin to see through a lens of love toward a better way.

Love is a balm and love is a catalyst. Love all of yourself – dark, light, happy, sad – and feel yourself bloom.

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Hello, again.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.  – Anais Nin

France toy sail boatsOld friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day. – Dalai Lama

Paris carouselAll changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy, for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another. – Anatole France

Paris shouldersHello and goodbye. We say these words everyday. They are polite and traditional. They’re happy and sad, light and dark, cheery and heart-wrenching. They’re the revolving door of our lives. Day in, day out. Loves, friends, family. Strangers. Hello. Goodbye. Hello, again. Make it meaningful.

What nourishes your soul?

All weekend I felt emotionally rung out and vaguely sad. On the way home from doing errands, I decided I needed to stop in my tracks and figure out what would nurture and nourish me. I turned the car around and drove along rambling country roads dotted with Pennsylvania farmhouses toward my favorite farm stand. Well, it’s more than a stand – it’s a full-on produce/garden/homemade goodies menagerie of healthy pleasures. Starving, I picked up an asparagus & raisin cakey-loaf (made that morning); also, I chose one outstanding coral peony (picked that morning), and I hand-selected, spear by purple-y spear, a bunch of fresh asparagus (harvested that morning).zucchini

As I drove away, eating the small, sweet bread as my lunch, I came upon a $5-for-a-bouquet honor system stand in front of one of the picturesque farmhouses. I stuffed a bill in the metal box and selected the bunch with the bursting apricot iris, several tight peony buds and some other magenta and violet beauties. My weekend went from hole-in-soul to satiated soul.

What soothes and nourishes your soul? How do you turn your world from mundane to blooming?

094For me, it’s beauty – I’m inspired and enriched by wandering through a garden, reading a gorgeous magazine, making a simple and delicious meal (such as a mound of fresh asparagus topped with feta cheese and two fried eggs – it was heavenly) or driving through the idyllic countryside. Through beauty I find my center, my soul-peace – and it’s from that deep and sacred place that I go out in the world to love, create and celebrate.

In bed that evening, I read an article by Ronda Rice Carman (author of Designers at Home) in the May issue of House Beautiful.  In it she wrote:

“I have long wondered what inspires one person to elevate the mundane tasks of daily living and another to despise the regular routines of life. In an age of increasing mass production and a recurring sea of sameness, I hold in high regard those who ponder the idiosyncrasies of living life in a unique, meaningful and deliberate manner.”

How do you live life in a unique, meaningful and deliberate manner?

 

Waxing, Waning – How I Live with the Moon’s Cycles

New Moon > Waxing > Full Moon > Waning

The New Moon is invisible but it brings a fresh energy that’s ideal for new beginnings.  In the two weeks that follow, the energy starts to build and it culminates at the Full Moon.  After that bright moment, the energy recedes again until the next New Moon.

I use this cycle as a guide when planning my creative projects, physical adventures and general life activities.  Kicking off a new project or initiative just after the New Moon gives it a blessed boost.  Then for two weeks I push hard to build, create, brainstorm, plan and initiate.

The Full Moon is a crescendo – the fireworks blast – that carries a manifestation energy.  Things that had been in the works, whether for the last couple weeks or the past six months, start to bear fruit.  Instead of initiating, I start gliding along and things start happening.

As the Full Moon cycle winds up, I find myself tying up loose ends to prepare again for the New Moon.  It’s time to clean the slate and prepare for changing winds.

My life seems to follow this arc quite naturally – ebb and flow, reap and sow.  It’s a peaceful way to organize what could otherwise seem chaotic.

The next New Moon is a solar eclipse, which gives it an extra boost, and it occurs at 8:28 pm (EST) on Thursday, May 9.  Looking forward to a fresh cycle!

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